How To Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is such a wonderful idea. Enjoy what you have and appreciate how fortunate you are to have it! Yet it can be difficult for many of us to practice. Here are some ideas to increase your gratitude, which will help boost your sense of happiness and connection to others this holiday season.
What Is Gratitude?
According to psychologist Robert Emmons, gratitude is the appreciation and thankfulness for the ‘good’ things and gifts we have in life. Dr. Emmons suggests this appreciation involves two elements: (1) The awareness of the good or beneficial elements in our lives; and (2) The appreciation that these good things are generated by external forces, whether that be other people, the world/universe, or a higher power.
Practices related to gratitude have a long history in religious and spiritual traditions, and Western psychology has begun to incorporate gratitude-related practices into our approaches. This is particularly helpful for folks who struggle with depression, although most of us could use a greater sense of gratitude in our lives!
Why Is Gratitude Helpful?
The answer to this might be obvious. When we’re practicing a mindset of gratitude and thankfulness, we are by definition feeling (at least somewhat) content and connected to the world.
Specifically, a mindset of gratitude can:
Increase happiness and optimism
Reduce anxiety, depression, and the perception of pain
Improve relationships and increase connection with other people or God (if you’re already religious)
Increase the tendency to act in helpful and prosocial ways towards other people
How To Practice Gratitude
There are many ways in which to increase your sense of gratitude, some of which I list below. The key is that gratitude takes practice. Don’t expect to see significant shifts after only trying them once or twice.
This is why I like the word ‘cultivate’ when thinking about developing a more grateful mindset. Like a garden, you can’t plant tomato seeds in your backyard and expect to produce a bounteous tomato harvest with no subsequent work (well, perhaps you can expect that, but you’ll probably be disappointed). Your garden requires nourishment, work, patience, and time to bear fruit, and so does your grateful mindset.
Keep a gratitude journal. Journal by writing down 3-5 things for which you were grateful during the day. Really try to develop a deep sense of appreciation for the good things you’re identifying rather than just dashing off whatever comes to mind, with particular emphasis on gratitude towards someone else who enabled that gift. Surprisingly, some research suggests that doing this only once a week may have more of an impact than if you do it daily.
Practice mindful walking. Challenge yourself to appreciate the beauty in the environment around you, whether of the trees and nature, or the ingenuity of human constructions.
Grateful eating and drinking is another practice for cultivating gratitude. For example, when drinking tea, develop an appreciation for the many factors that enabled that tea to exist, such as the soil in which the tea was grown, the water and sunlight that nourished the plant, the people who picked and dried the leaves, etc.
Notice small moments for gratitude, not only the big ones. Notice the moment a neighbour goes out of their way to be helpful, or the beauty of a rainfall in helping nourish your backyard veggie patch (this is one I’ve really learned to appreciate!).
Express thanks to people in your life for whom you feel grateful. Consider writing a gratitude letter or scheduling a gratitude visit in which you tell someone how grateful you are for them and what they’ve given you. Developing an internal sense of gratitude is wonderful and expressing that gratitude to someone directly can heighten it even further.
Loving-kindness meditations are long-standing Buddhist practices that can help foster a sense of connection with others in our lives. Although not explicitly gratitude focused, loving-kindness can increase our sense of connection and compassion for ourselves and others.
Practice gratitude all year and not simply when the calendar turns to Thanksgiving. Our mindset and thinking patterns are habitual, so if we are relatively ungrateful for most of the year and try to force gratitude for a single day, we’ll struggle!
Imagine not having something you appreciate to heighten your sense of gratitude for having it now. There are meditations from different spiritual and philosophical traditions related to imagining the loss of something we care about and even imagining our own deaths. These can be painful images to hold, yet maintaining an awareness of the reality that we cannot avoid losing objects and people we care about can help heighten how grateful we are to have them in our lives while we do.
Like all new skills or ways of thinking, embracing an ‘attitude of gratitude’ takes dedication and consistent work. Challenge yourself this Thanksgiving to really embrace the holiday spirit and deeply feel the many gifts you have and have received in your life!
Disclaimer: This post is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for psychotherapy. The information provided is general and may not be appropriate for your particular mental health needs. Always consult a qualified health professional to discuss your personal needs and goals.